Hey TV! Go Watch Yourself

I have more television choices but watch less. When I choose to watch, I don't sit through an entire episode of anything. Exception: Flight of the Conchords on HBO. Funny.

I like the History Channel program where they go underground and run around with flashlights. They explore cisterns in Istanbul and forgotten Paris sewers. The only bad part about that show is the host. He's Mr. Histrionic. He oversells the drama (or lack of drama) at every tunnel entrance.

I like the man versus nature shows. You know, the programs where they drop a dude off on a glacier or in the jungle and he survives for a week with a thermos of coffee and a Swiss army knife. There's Man vs. Wild and Survivorman. In Man vs. Wild the host travels with a camera crew. The adventurer mans the camera on Survivorman. I wonder if they critique each other's work? That might be a good show too.

I checked out the tough jobs in cold weather shows. I saw the Alaskan crab fishing show, Dangerous Catch, sponsored by Red Lobster. What? No product placement? I can get the logo painted on the pot floats. Give me a jingle, people. And Ice Road Truckers, a show featuring big trucks on frozen Canadian Lakes. That's a tougher package to produce. The drivers are alone on the ice. They need to erect a floating casino, strip club, and trucker's shower halfway across the lake. It doesn't have to float until spring. Start building it this fall. Install a roulette table next to port-a-potty and expand it from there, like the space station. I hear NASA started with similar accommodations. The toilet broke recently, but the roulette wheel still spins. They needed the additonal air flow.

I peeked at the celebrity out of control shows on VH-1. The fat celebrities with bad attitudes program, the Peter Brady / skanky wife show, and the no-class bimbos clawing for celebrity romance contests, featuring Flavor Flav and Brett Michaels. I don't like the rehab / intervention shows, whether they feature celebrity drug addicts or regular abusers. Its painful and not very entertaining.

I see parts of all those shows in the same evening when I flip for a long time. I also enjoy sports, especially in high-def. Even the Royals look good on a HD channel.

Ask my wife if you want to know about The Office, Survivor, Project Runway, The Bachelor, Desperate Housewives, The Daily Show, General Hospital, Top Chef, Ugly Betty, Dancing With the Stars, 30 Rock, American Idol, Grey's Anatomy, or The Colbert Report. She's got the TV with the DVR box. I tape re-runs of Bob Newhart and The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

The Office, 30 Rock, and The Daily Show are good programs. When I watch its at the expense of something else. I can't blog, I'm not listening to downloaded music, I can't play video games, I'm not walking the dog, I'm not researching family history, and I can't write short stories. Tina Fey and Jenna Fischer will have to be smoldering hot for American viewers without me. I'd rather type.

This is Lawrence, Kansas. Is there anybody out there?

I was thinking about global thermonuclear war the other day and ended up reading about The Day After. This wikipedia entry has extra details about the production in Lawrence including Herk Harvey's cameo, and a fascinating story about the TV movie's effect on cold war relations.

Mini Reunion

My college radio history captured on digital media. From left to right, former KJHK faculty advisor Sam Elliott, former KJHK station manager Stu Wright, yours truly, and former KJHK Ops Manager Craig Westhoff, as seen at Kobi's bar in Bonner Springs, Kansas on June 6th, 2008.

KU seniors Stu and Craig did a Monday night talk show called "Alternative Conversations" and they asked me, a freshman, to produce it in the spring of 1984. That meant book the guests, screen the calls, and make the promos. It was my first radio experience and I stayed involved for 10 semesters (including summers) and as a career for a few years following graduation. Sam and I worked together throughout my college days as I rose through the ranks to station manager in the Fall of 1986. I relinquished that post (gladly) at term, but remained connected with the station through the Spring of 1988.

Sam and his wife live south of Topeka in the Lake Wabaunsee area. Stu lives in Seattle, WA, and Craig and I live in the KC area, where we see each other regularly in the Monday night bowling league. This was the first time I'd seen Stu since he brought the Denver Sub-Pop label band The Fluid to Lawrence in the late 80s. He also managed Get Smart! before that.

Kobi's bar in Bonner Springs featured live music from Mid-Life Crisis, featuring former KJHK sales manager Rick Gilchrist on drums.

Somehow I Doubt it

Six Year Olds Like Oreos

So do big dogs. Guess who remembered they were on the dining room table first?

College Lessons

Here are a few things I learned in college at the University of Kansas:

• 8:00am classes are useful only to those who are hung up on graduating in four years.
• A Christmas tree will not fit in the trash chute of a high rise dormitory.
• Pull the fire alarm once, shame on me, pull the fire alarm twice, it was those bastards over at Naismith Hall.
• Vomit and lasagna smell the same when you don't know somebody hurled in the cafeteria.
• If you break a beer bottle inside Joe's Donuts on a Saturday night, you will receive a round of applause, but not from the people who work there.
• Susan Lucci is one damn fine actress.
• Stolen toilet paper burns a hole in your backpack.
• Using a water balloon sling-shot within city limits often attracts law enforcement officials.
• They do not have a lost and found for jean jackets at the Pink Flamingo strip club.

A Shot Glass of Soy Sauce?

Things the enigmatic zefrank learned in college.

Coming Soon to a Tap Near You

If you think the gasoline prices are a pain, imagine what its going to be like when water gets scarce. And how do you know what you're getting? I'm not sure if I'm ready to conduct home tests but here's one website with a list of home test kits already on the market for all kinds of water.

Sex In The City - My Review

I haven't seen Sex In The City: The Movie. Someone who saw it, please tell me, does it have the annoying voice-over that pervaded the television series? I know she's a columnist but that doesn't excuse lazy story-telling.

There isn't much voice-over in my version of Sex In The City. [Wait For It]...There isn't much sex either, but hey, I'm married. [Rimshot] Thank you!

Lone Star Tick in Eastern Kansas

I took my daughter and our dog for a nature walk today in a wooded area south of our home. It was a big mistake. Tick city. We found about 10 ticks on the three of us including a small brown tick with a single white dot on its back, the lone star tick. Beware nature lovers.