Monday, October 27, 2008

The Bowling Report for October 27th, 2008

We beat the second place team three of four games tonight at Mission Bowl. I did not bowl over 200 this week, but I enjoyed picking up my 600 pin and groovy jean jacket patches from the pro shop desk before the match in honor of my big night two weeks ago. I got a 250 patch, a 100 pins over average patch, and a 140 pins over average series patch. Check it out Bitches. Now all I need is a new jean jacket. I left my last one at Pink Flamingo in Lawrence in 1995.

I went a little overboard there on the award hambonery and the other team bowled very well despite my taunts and "which way to beach" poses with my new patches. We beat them on the total pin tally by two pins. Results are unofficial since they ran a new bowler into the mix and we calculated his handicap on the fly. I mentioned that possibility to them when I showed them the results but it did little to ease their pain. The second place team is very competitive and they didn't relish the prospect of not being the second place team next week. They did not enjoy me reminding them that to the losers go the pink copy of the score sheet triplicate.

I've got to reel it in before I lose the goodwill of the blog reading public, those non-bowling fans who put up with my weekly updates, hoping I'll post something worthwhile, hoping against hope that I'll release a short paragraph with a link or a photo or a video, something one might digest quickly without having to read through endless paragraphs of text, text, text. But no, here I go again with more self-congratulatory prose and back-slapping shirt puffery. My kingdom for a sock stuffed with horse manure. End it already.

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