The Bowling Report for November 10th

Routine night at the bowling alley with the usual assortment of strikes, spares, cocktails and laughs. We won three of four games from the second place team. Kurt and Craig contributed strong games as did the rest of us at times. I was down and up and in between - a 474 series.

The Bowling Report for October 27th, 2008

We beat the second place team three of four games tonight at Mission Bowl. I did not bowl over 200 this week, but I enjoyed picking up my 600 pin and groovy jean jacket patches from the pro shop desk before the match in honor of my big night two weeks ago. I got a 250 patch, a 100 pins over average patch, and a 140 pins over average series patch. Check it out Bitches. Now all I need is a new jean jacket. I left my last one at Pink Flamingo in Lawrence in 1995.

I went a little overboard there on the award hambonery and the other team bowled very well despite my taunts and "which way to beach" poses with my new patches. We beat them on the total pin tally by two pins. Results are unofficial since they ran a new bowler into the mix and we calculated his handicap on the fly. I mentioned that possibility to them when I showed them the results but it did little to ease their pain. The second place team is very competitive and they didn't relish the prospect of not being the second place team next week. They did not enjoy me reminding them that to the losers go the pink copy of the score sheet triplicate.

I've got to reel it in before I lose the goodwill of the blog reading public, those non-bowling fans who put up with my weekly updates, hoping I'll post something worthwhile, hoping against hope that I'll release a short paragraph with a link or a photo or a video, something one might digest quickly without having to read through endless paragraphs of text, text, text. But no, here I go again with more self-congratulatory prose and back-slapping shirt puffery. My kingdom for a sock stuffed with horse manure. End it already.

The Bowling Report for October 13th

We split against the Coca-Cola team tonight. Craig bowled a 165 in the first game and the other team's best bowler was late. They took his average per league rules and we managed a narrow victory. Jay figured in the short end of a beer frame, or jello shot frame as is our custom. We weren't as lucky in game two. John the ringer for the other team walked in and scorched us with a big game, way over his average and they beat us by over a 100 pins.

I started with a strike in game three. I bowled a second and third strike and then a fourth. The other team remarked on my perfect game in frames four and five, much to the ire of my teammates, but it didn't phase me. I bowled a fifth and sixth strike. A guy screamed ten lanes away from us and did a belly flop down the hard wood. The PA announcer said the flopper bowled a perfect game - a 300. I bowled a seventh strike. I'd never done that before. I went up there in the eighth frame expecting to end it, but I struck again. Eight strikes in a row. You need 12 for a perfect game.

I waited my turn and when it arrived, I paused, took a deep breath, and approached the lane. I picked up my ball and tried to repeat the same throw that had worked eight times before, but it was not to be. I got an eight-spare. That's okay. The guys in our league gave me a round of applause and I finished the game with a 265! That's my highest game ever. I bowled a 620 series, also a personal high (181,174,265). I had four open frames total. That's not bad. They printed out my stats at the front desk. I rolled 17 strikes in the series, 12 spares, and picked up one of two splits.

The Bowling Report for September 15th

I post a summary of our team's bowling exploits every Monday night, weather permitting. We won two of three matches and had more total pins than the other team. That counts as a victory by itself. Results are unofficial pending the official tally by the bowl-master 9000 computer in the Mission Bowl pro shop but I'm confident in Kurt's math. We are 8 and 4 so far this season. Our best bowler Brent returned from summer hiatus and missed a triplicate patch by six pins in game three (171, 171, 165). I had my first 500+ series of the year (504).

The Bowling Report for September 8th

It's too early in the season to know how we're doing. Week two at Mission Bowl with 31 weeks to go. They outlawed smoking and that's a big change this year. Our lungs are doing much better, that I know. We bowled well after a slow start in week one. Kurt and Craig found their game and we held serve throughout the night but the true scores were obscured since new bowlers rolled on both sides of the scoring settee. I managed a 464 series - anything over 450 and I'm happy. 450 / 3 = 150. Good night.

Bowling Today

I took the boy bowling at College Lanes today. Skyler bowled a 111, 86, and an 80. I encouraged him to bowl with his fingers in the ball holes but he preferred the no finger approach. Bumpers were up but that only helped me once. I bowled a 174, 183, 179. Mission bowl league play returns in about six weeks. I'm looking forward to it.

Unicorns, Chocolate Long Johns, and the Bowling Report for March 31st.

We finished the 2007-08 bowling campaign in last place tonight at Mission Bowl. Its official. The other guys showed too much including substitute bowler Paul who pasted us with a 613 series. But nothing can ruin a great sports day here in Kansas City. The Royals won in extra innings (they're undefeated, Jackie) and the Jayhawks are in the Final Four. Next week we bowl again for fun. The standings are finished. The league has a meeting after the matches and prizes are awarded and last season's first place team buys donuts. We'll meet before we bowl if KU is in the finals. No sense missing the action for a couple of chocolate long johns and a five-way split of 50 dollars. I don't bowl for the money, or the donuts, in case you wondered.

The Bowling Report for March 24th

What's worse that seeing Amy Winehouse pose nude? Watching us bowl. We took another face down four game defeat tonight against a tough team. The good news for me: I bowled better every game. The bad news: all three games were under my average. I'd blame the lane conditions if I were a better bowler. Only two weeks left in the season.

The Bowling Report for March 17th

The luck of the Irish was with us tonight as we won all four games against the competition at Mission Bowl. Anchor Brent bowled a 610 series and super-sub Jay added a 508 series of his own. I failed to distinguish myself among the throng of hot rollers, but four wins is a good thing, baby.

We also got our NIT pool together. That's right, the National Invitational Tournament. It's by invitation only. And it starts tomorrow. Yep, we're hardcore. So we'll see how that pans out. I think New Mexico can go all the way!

The Bowling Report for March 10th

There is very little good news to report from bowling tonight. We managed a single win against our opponents and came up 26 pins short of a two game victory. Last place is firmly within our grasp. I led the team with a 470 series. Not stellar.

The Bowling Report for March 3rd

The first place team spanked our asses tonight at Mission Bowl. We rolled a 3000 team series on the nose but that won't win against first place power featuring the top three bowlers across the league. The countdown to season's end begins. Only five weeks left until summer break.

Tonight at Mission Bowl - Brent's 642

Our anchor Brent bowled a 642 series that included a 268 scratch game, good for 2nd best score by any of our league bowlers so far this season, but it wasn't enough. We earned a single victory in our head to head match teamwise. The rest of us were mighty inconsistent. On the up side, we watched KU take the lead over MU on the monitors. (They mounted TV sets every four lanes so no sports event goes unwatched). Someday they'll ban smoking in Mission but not tonight. I smell like an ashtray and I don't even smoke. But I'm not complaining. Bowling is fun.